


The me inside of me

by im_me_sexual



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Lance (Voltron), Based on a Tumblr Post, Gen, Hah I guess, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron)-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-12 19:39:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10498113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_me_sexual/pseuds/im_me_sexual
Summary: “Out of everyone in the universe, the Blue lion HAD to pick the most annoying one.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yo my first Voltron fic on ao3. Prompt from https://promptsforvoltron.tumblr.com/post/158768645133/more-langst go follow them they hv such great prompts omg  
> .  
> :) Enjoy

“Out of everyone in the universe, the Blue lion _had_ to pick the most annoying one.”

 

To these words, every self deprecating thought rushed to the surface. His heart dropped a hundred feet beneath him tearing a hole through the cold hard metal ship. Lance had tried so hard to carry it's weight, to be better, but each insult piled on like rocks.

 

Lance couldn`t breath. He couldn't think straight

 

Keith has turned around. Everybody was turned around now, away from him to continue on with whatever thing they were doing.

 

' _I'm just a placeholder until they find someone better,’_

 

' _I'm just a bother, all I do just annoy the team.’_

 

_'I hold them back,’_

 

' _Would they care if I left?’_

 

The mask slipped ever so slightly; his face falling.

 

Without a word, he turned on his heels and ran.

 

Where was he going? There was no plan. Lungs burning, he sprinted through the corridors of the ship. His whole body was on fire. He wants it to burn and distract him from his thoughts. He wants to drown out the endless cacophony in his brain and just. let. go.

 

A soft worried rumbling echoes at the back of his mind. Lance blinks back tears.

 

 _Blue_.

 

His legs had brought him in front of his lion`s hangar. Her powerful energy radiates from within, swirling waves of comfort directed at him lapped around like waves. She cared so much, it made him warm inside.

 

“Hey beautiful,” “ _Hello, my dear paladin,”_

 

Compared to the other paladins, he had nothing. He was nothing.  

 

His mask fell off. Lance threw himself at her feet, curling up at the edge of her paw and buried his head in his arms. His shoulders shook as he sobbed, soft sniffing noises only to be heard.

 

“I’m sorry, Blue,” he whispers. Concern rolled off of the lion more intensely now with a hint of confusion. Washed over it all was pure love.

 

He didn't deserve her.

 

“I'm sorry for being a bad teammate and a waste of time. I'm sorry that I'm so friggin pathetic, that I can't do anything right. I'm sorry that I'm the weakest link. I'm sorry that I'm so worthless and the only thing I do is hold back the team.I'm sorry for constantly being an awful annoying idiot, I'm sorry I'm so so sorry-”

 

A steady stream of apologies tumble from his lips but a gentle nudge from Blue silences him. Only small hiccups remained.

 

“Lance,” she says, soft but firm. The boy finally looks up at her, eyes swollen and red.

 

“I chose you for a reason.”

 

“But what if you chose wrong?!” he cried out as he scrambles to his feet. Lance knew better than to question her but with the way it was it could be a huge possibility. His teeth and fists were clenched, “No matter how _hard_ I try I'm just never good enough! I'm not smart like Pidge and Hunk, I'm not good at combat or flying like Shiro and Keith. Sharpshooter my _ass_ , anybody can learn how to do that given time. To lighten up the mood?? _Ha,”_ he snorts, “All I do is irritate them because _apparently_ I'm the most annoying guy in the Universe,”

 

 _“_ Oh _god_ ,” He forced out a laugh. pulling his hand down his wet face. “ _What the hell do I even contribute_?”

 

He looks back down, smile not reaching his eyes.

 

“ …..you should just replace me.”

 

 _“No.” “_ She growled immediately. “Blue please, it's better for everybod-”

 

“ _Never,”_

 

She growls again. Deep like thunder during a storm, it shook the hangar grounds. The feline was absolutely furious. Her anger subsided when she saw him flinch but soon came back in full force, this time in a mix of love and compassion. It wrapped around him like a fluffy blanket.

 

How could her cub not see how amazing he was? Lance was _hers_ and she was his, there is no one more perfect than him to be her paladin. This boy was kind, thoughtful and smart. They got along so well and became so close with a bond stronger than that of her previous paladin.  

 

 _“Listen to me, my cub”_ Lance gulped, “ _You are a gift to this world, to me. We are bound together by destiny. You are definitely not a mistake. The green and yellow paladin are intellectual but that doesn't mean you're not.You were able to fly me the very second you sat in the pilot seat. This proves that you are a good pilot, albeit being slightly rough around the edges. You are the heart of Voltron, the leg that supports. The team might not show it but they need you. Without you they will fall apart, the heart will no longer beat or cease to exist.”_

 

“But-”

 

“ _If by some completely impossible off chance that I am wrong, please know that no matter what the others think, I for one, am thankful for you. You are my precious cub. I respect and trust you as a paladin and so do my sisters. I love you and appreciate you to the ends of the Universe and back. Our bond will forever be there even beyond death.”_

 

Here comes the waterworks again. Wow Lance has cried almost 3 times today.

 

“ _And if it is any consolation,”_ Blue adds with a playful tone and a ghost of a smile, " _You are worth more than an infinity of Chicken Nuggets.”_

 

_Did she just?_

 

_Oh god she did_

 

Lance doubled over, hands clutching his stomach as he bursts out in unrestrained cackles. He giggles until he is gasping for air. Blue chuckles along.

 

Victory. She had successfully cheered him up. Blue knows it won't last but she will be there to support him when he falls.

 

“Thank you,” Lance whispers, He wants to repeat that phrase over and over. She leans down and he embraces her in his arms to the best of his ability. “I love you too.”

 

“Is it okay if I stayed the night?”

 

“ _Of course, my son.”_

 

_“Stay as long as you need.”_


	2. Chapter 2

( _The next day)_

 

Lance catches the gladiator's fist. He uses the momentum to pull it into his right kick, sending it tumbling backwards to the ground. Slamming his knee down onto it`s chest, he prevents it from being be able to rise. In one swift motion he unclasps his bayard from his belt, holding directly onto it's head. He aims, and fires.

 

_Head shot._

 

“Level 3 Completed: Training sequence successful.”

 

Tense shoulders went slack. Lance scrunches his eyes tight as he takes in labored breaths, chest heaving up and down.Metal bodies were strewn on the floor all around him. Some were missing limbs, others had their head shot clean off. The room proceeds to clear up.

 

Going to the training room at midnight like this wasn't exactly a rare occurrence. Lance has been doing this for the past month now. He was determined to get better. So here he was: _Kicking some robot ass._

 

Along the way, he finds that It was also a good distraction against the thoughts at the back of his mind. It’s what disarms the ticking time bomb holding him by his neck.

 

But tonight, despite also having a nice pep talk from Blue yesterday, it just didn't work.

 

 _Nothing_ worked. The familiar voices of his team echoed, bouncing off the walls in his head. Words dripping with acid, laced with disdain. He can feel the count down.

 

_'Are you even trying?’_

 

_'All you do is whine.’_

 

_‘Pathetic.’_

 

_‘You are so weak.’_

 

His head pounded. No no _no._ They would _never_ say those things.

 “Get it together, Lance.” He murmurs to himself.

 

 _‘Out of everyone in the universe, the Blue lion had to pick the most annoying one.’_ The red paladin’s tone wasn't playful anymore. It was cold, cruel. Slicing and stabbing through his already wounded heart.

 

“Training sequence, level 4 start.” he grits out before his brain could go on any further.

Three gladiators dropped from the ceiling all at once, landing like a cat on it's feet. He puts his fists up, bayard in one hand, and shifts into his fighting stance.

 

 _“_ Let's go.”

 

-

 

He shows up battered and bruised at Blue’s hangar.

 

Training had not gone quite as planned.

 

Lance had been hauling ass for 5 hours straight. At around the 3rd or 4th hour,  he thought that it would be a good idea to try out level 5. (It wasn't.)

 

He was tired but pleased as the voices had faded off into the background; a loud haunting symphony reduced only to soft beats. But _because_ he was so tired, his movements gradually became slower. Almost sloppy. His vision a hazy a blur. Head spun dizzily as he tried his best to dodge.

 

Suddenly, it all went to shit.

 

He crumples, flailing with a heavy _thud_ onto the ground. His legs were jelly, so overwhelmed with exhaustion.

 

 _Yikes...._ not good.

 

The gladiators attacked, not wasting any time in taking advantage of the fallen paladin. They hurled punches and kicks. Their hands morphed into sharp edges, slicing viciously at him. Lance takes hit after hit. He bites his lips down hard to prevent his grunts from becoming something more.

 

The only reason Lance was still able to survive was because of his bayard. He sends blasts ricocheting off the walls, targeting the gladiators from the floor. Each hit was calculated carefully to kill. A mistake and he might not have another opening.

 

Head blown off it's shoulders, the last bot falls,

 

“Just like that,” Lance quotes, spitting out blood with a small smirk. "It's over.”

 

“Level 5 completed, training sequence successful.”

 

“Uggghh," He collapses dramatically and just lied there, flat on his back. He wipes a hand down his face. Holding it out in front of himself, he inspects it thoughtlessly in the light.

 

"Mmm whatcha say..."

 

Everything hurts like a _bitch._

 

Bruises were starting to blossom on his dark skin. Cuts littered his torso, back and arms. There was a bad gnash on his shoulder, blood seeping out through his shirt. _Damn, it_  was going to stain. It was his favourite shirt too. Lance also thinks that he might have a slight concussion? That would definitely explain the throbbing pain at the back of his head. And the ringing in his ears....

 

Well whatever. It wasn't _that_ bad. He just needed to patch himself up with the first aid kit and he will be good as new.

 

-

 

“ _Not that bad??,”_ Blue growled incredulously when Lance had arrived to obtain the first aid kit. He had kept one in her because to him, she was the safest place to go to.

 

He sauntered in with hands placed on his hips, acting like he was _not_  badly injured. But doing that certainly didn't deter Blue's mom senses. In fact, it heightened them. They had a _bond_ , for god's sake. If anyone else was looking, they would be fooled.

 

Her concern tugged at him, uneasy waves that seemed to circle around him like dark clouds, loomed eerily overhead. At times like this she reminds him of his mom. If it were her she would be pinching the bridge of her nose. Her left eye would twitch.

 

“Okay,” He relents, holding tightly onto his side. Letting out a guilty sigh with eyes downcast, “I might have overdone it… a little bit.”

 

 _"A little bit is an understatement."_ She scanned him. _"I scanned you. My cub, you have a minor concussion and about 3 bruised ribs."_

 

Sounds about right.

 

“I just need a bit of bandaging, babe. That's all.”

 

She rolls her eyes. She watches him rummaging through her compartments. He squints his eyes, glaring at the drawers like it was personally offending him. Peopl- Alteans should have, I don't know, made stuff more findable in here?? A first aid kit that is unavailable to a person in aid serves literally _no fucking purpose_  whatsoever _-_

 

Oh wait. Never mind, Lance found it. Blue snorts.

 

 _“You know,"_ she sighs, _"A_ _healing pod is far more effective,"_

 

More softly, this time, _"You don't need to go through all of this."_

 

The training; it was a distraction for him. She knows about his thoughts. Insecure and scared. Her cub doesn't think he is enough. He pushes himself to the brink because wants to be a better paladin, a better teammate. He wants to find his place in the team. He wants to find his _thing._

 

She knows why Lance avoids the healing pods. It was due to the attention it brought. _No one_ can know. The image of indifference he carved from for himself through the years would shatter into nothingness. In Its placed would reveal a desperate, pathetic, boy from Cuba who tries too hard. A person like him doesn't deserve anybody`s concern. 

 

“Well, the weakest link must endure it.,” Lance shrugs, a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "I havent done much. The least I can do is bear with it."

 

_No._

 

Blue was going to have to stop him right there. She wasn't having it. He was the strongest link, he has to know this.

 

_How was she going to show him?_

 

Hmm....

 

 _Aha!_ She had the most brilliant idea. He wont like it. 

 

“ _My cub,"_ There was a wicked glint in her eye. If Lance had payed more attention he would have noticed.  

 

_“How about we play a game?”_

 

Lance blinks, “Uhm...okay ” He already wrote a note to Hunk about how he was going to miss breakfast. It even had a cute little doodle on it to assure he was fine.

 

“I guess I still have some free time left.”

 

“ _Good_.”

 

“ _We are going to have therapy session_.”

 

“Oh nice…” there was a pause.

 

“Wait  _WHAT?!”_

 

Immediately, her particle barrier goes up, preventing her paladin from being able to leave. He started banging his fists against the barrier in panic. 

 

“BLUE, LET ME OUT!” 

 

She ignores him.

 

 _“Yes we will be talking about your insecurities and problems my sisters and I.”_ What the hell.

 

"You _will see that nothing of what you think of yourself is true. I'm going to prove to you that you are not the weakest link.”_

 

Lance scrunches his face in absolute horror. Oh god oh _god._ His heart was going to beat out of his chest. The pain was definitely not because of his injuries now.

 

He could feel the whirring of the other lions under his feet, murmuring in agreement. Their reassurance supporting him and calming his nerves. It was... Surprisingly nice.... 

 

Ugh. Fuck it. Lance gives up.

 

....Looks like there was no escape.

 

“I think I'm going to puke”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LIONS!! VALIDATING!! LANCE!!
> 
> Most of his insecurities are based on how he views himself. Overthinking and what not. Not really the team being purposely mean to him. But if you like that u do u, man.
> 
> My favourite headcannon is Lance having the strongest bond and the most quintessence idk. There will be more about that later.
> 
> Im sorry it took so long and the chapter is quite short, the next chapter will come sooner lol. It was my fault for not planning. Please tell me if i got any errors in my spelling. ANd tell me hat you think my guys :D
> 
>  
> 
> Come say Hi on my Tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/clouds-crying-rain B) The Fic's tag is #TMIM

**Author's Note:**

> Oh well I tried. Tell me if u guys want me to add another chapter. Give me some ideas  
> -  
> Edit :  
> Guys there will be another chapter haha. Stay tuned B)


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